27th June 2009

Race for Life Day!
We chose the hottest day of the year so far to walk our Race for Life! We didn't have the best preparation as we were out at friends last night at a barbecue, so I was a touch hung over, and Sarah was a bit tired before we started. We had to park about 1 km away from the start line, so including the walk to and from the car, she probably walked 7km, and not the obligatory 5!We started at the back of the runners, alongside the pushchairs, but by 2km, even they had steamed ahead - but Sarah was determined to keep going and was averaging 14 minutes per km - not bad for someone who this time last year was watching her sister running the race from her wheelchair by the medical tent - what a difference a year makes.We made it round to great applause in 1 hour and 11 minutes - Sarah was exhausted, but happy with her medal!She moaned all the way back to the car that her leg hurt,she was hot, she needed to sit down, where was the car...........but she made it round, and I am so proud of her! She had a lovely soak in the pool when we got back, and was in bed and asleep by 9pm after a chinese takeaway as a treat.
Sarah had her first lot of re-immunisations on Wednesday morning - she ha to have 4 injections,diptheria, tetanus and polio, Hepatitis b, meningitis c and MMR(I think) so the nurse gave her one in each arm this time, and she will go back for another 2 in a month. For someone who is needle phobic, she took it all in her stride, but the nurse was great - she came over and just stuck the first one in when Sarah thought she was going to wipe her arm with an antiseptic wipe. When she realised it didn't hurt, she let her do the other one and it was a doddle!She will also need a flu jab every winter, in about October - oh joy!
We went to Stanmore for an x-ray on Tuesday, and Sarah had to have her leg lengthened by 4mm!She had to sit in the machine for 16 minutes, and she said it felt funny to start with but it didn't go stiff like Chris henry said it would. She's now limping less, and Chris thinks she will need doing again by the same amount before our next appointment in September. July 15th is our next appointment at UCH - exactly 1 year to the day since Sarah's operation. Breath held again until its over, but so far, we have no reason to think there will be any news other than good.Fingers will still be very crossed, as these things have a habit of creeping up when you least expect them to.I just hate to be optomistic JUST IN CASE, but we are trying to just carry on as normal as we can.Life is good so far - Katie is away travelling in Europe and we are warming up for leaving her in America and coming back without her, our holiday is 6 weeks away (and God, do we need it!), Sarah is feeling good(tired after her walk but otherwise good!), the sun is shining, and Andy Murray is still in the draw at Wimbledon! Bring on the Pimms and strawberries....

Sunday 31st May 2009

Apologies for not writing sooner. normal life is busy,and there's not so much time to dwell on past agonies, and no time at all to sit at the computer and type! Since last writing, we have been back to UCH for the next 2 monthly check up and all was well. Chest x-ray was clear and they were really pleased with how Sarah was doing - they said she looked fantastic and healthy which was a relief all round following the worry we had about her sore foot a few weeks before. We have had Sarah's cousin Jo's 30th birthday party too, which was a lovely evening, and a chance for the whole of the Leeson clan (my family!!)to gather together for a night out! First time in ages, and it was lovely to see my 2 uncles again after so long! It was nice for them to catch up with Sarah too, as they had all been worried, and they couldn't believe she looked so well after all she had been through. Sarah had a lovely time boogying the night away, but we had to leave fairly early as Katie had a hockey final on Sunday morning in Surbiton the next day! We made the trip back and it was worth it as they won 4-2 - a lovely way to finish off Katie's Teddington hockey career before she heads off to the States to her University.
This week has been half term, and Sarah has been to the gym! She went on the rowing machine, the running machine (more a walk, but it went quite fast!) and the cross trainer - once she got going she was going great guns, and she is really keen to go again - Katie is taking her on Tuesday! I'm all for it if it means she is exercising that leg!! This hot weekend meant we were pestered by Sarah to get the pool up - we started filling it up yesterday and it took until today to fill it completely! Sarah had some friends over, and it was FREEZING!!! BUT they got in and even managed to swim - they were in there about 4 hours, and she was like ice when she got out. Still, a nice hot bath sorted her out, and she's safely tucked up in bed and ready for school tomorrow. We had her school report last week and it was amazing! Considering how much school she missed, she didn't get less than a 5a, and actually got mostly 6's, which is above average for her year.I am so proud of how well she is doing, both with her school work and her walking/recovery. We are so busy now, we barely have time to sit and brood over what could be/might have been - I suppose that is one way to cope with the post traumatic stress.Our next appointment is next Monday at Stanmore - leg x-ray and a check up, and the next time we go to UCH will be exactly 1 year to the day that Sarah had her operation - 15th July 2008 seems so long ago, but only 1 year has gone by - but how far we have come. All the children going through this are so resiliant and brave, it is a joy to behold - we hear news from all of them and it makes us pleased and proud of every single one of them. All we can do is pray that their recovery is complete.

Wednesday 6th May`

Sarah is MAD - its official!! Just thought I'd add that - prancing about singing and dancing - MAD I tell you, MAD!!!! Wouldn't change it for the world................and she says she's going to try and go to school with no crutches again tomorrow - pain in foot seems to be going away...doesn't stop her dancing anyway!!

Tuesday 5th May

A bit of worry has been going on in the Ardrey household over the last few weeks. Sarah developed pain in her foot, which I put down to her returning to school after Easter without crutches, with soft, ridiculous 'fashionable' shoes, and hence pain. She went to physio, and she filled me with dread. She was waking at night, complaining it hurt, just like the cancer had returned. She and I were petrified it had come back, so straight on the phone to the specialist bone tumour nurse. She said it was highly unlikely, put a tubigrip on, and see how it goes. Over the weekend, I had to massage it twice daily, and give Nurofen. By Monday, it was still hurting, and I was a nervous wreck, so on the phone again to book an appointment for an x-ray. Bolsover Street Thursday, 9 x-rays at various points around her foot, and ankle, and 4 hours of waiting. Eventually, we saw Dr Pong (!!?) who said it all looked OK, leg was straight, and we had to assume it was a stress injury that might not be showing up yet. She was to carry on as normal and go back to crutches until it stopped hurting. Panic over!! Since then, she still gets me to massage the foot, but I think she's winding me up, and just likes it!! If you don't mention it, she doesn't say anything, and even went to a Laserquest party last night and spent an hour and a half running about shooting people! We have an appointment with Maria at UCH next Wednesday, so will hold our breath for a while longer, but fingers crossed all will be well again. Pictures are for Charlotte, who wanted to see the thatch of hair Sarah has grown. So curly its funny!!! I showed Sarah the picture of the back curls,and she said she had no idea what it looked like, and didn't know it was sooooo curly!!.

Thursday 16th April 2009

Laughter and lots of it is what we've had over the last few days! I haven't seen sarah this happy and content for over a year. We have seen friends and family, been on trips to the cinema, and there has been walking - albeit with me following behind singing the Pingu theme tune(Sarah waddles like a penguin because she walks with her leg locked!!)but she's walking and its wonderful!!. She is willing to leave the house without crutches, (we went to the cinema without them last week) and she only took 1 for a trip to Richmond shopping with her sister 'just in case'!! I'm nearly on the verge of losing them altogether! The physio is coming next week to watch sarah riding her bike (!!""??) and climbing stairs - how she is going to ride her bike I have no idea - I keep panicking she will lean over to the right, stand on her bad leg and fall right off and break it - but we've got to start somewhere I suppose!! Sarah's hair is so long now and madly curly its hilarious!! When its wet, her fringe nearly reaches her eyebrows, but its got so many kinks in it, it looks really short! She spends ages every bath time in front of the mirror, trying to get a Danny Zuko quiff at the front - she finds it so funny! Laughter - so much laughter - and how happy we all are at last!

Wednesday 8th April 2009

Well, 1 year and a day from Sarah's diagnosis, we are here, and progress is being made. Actually, things are so nice and NORMAL that the anniversary of that awful day almost passed unnoticed in the Ardrey household. I had remembered it was looming, but we had a fab weekend, and it slipped our minds! I took Katie to Hillingdon to do her ACT test for her university in the USA on Saturday morning, then came home, bet on the Grand National and lost, took Sarah bag packing in Waitrose with the guides,pottered around and had chinese takeaway for tea. Sunday, we had a lovely lie in - haven't slept past 8.30am in months and we were still in bed and asleep at 10.30!!! Wonderful, and really needed! In the afternoon, I took Sarah to the park for a game of tennis as I had promised. She walked from the car to the court with no crutches on the flat bits, and with 1 crutch on the hills. We had a giggle at her stumbling around the court,and missing the balls that weren't close enough for her to hit, but we were there, and laughing, and being active - it was great!
I took her to physio on Monday and she was very pleased with Sarah's progress - she said her walking had improved, her exercises were better, and she was getting stronger.
Monday night Sarah went to swimming club, and after her session, as it was Easter, they kept the slide open and Sarah went on the snake slide - she climbed up the 4 flights of stairs to the top and down she came, grinning from ear to ear! She then got up, and did it again, and again, and again!! Better exercise for her legs than anything else I have tried to get her to do!! Tuesday - 'D' day - then came and went - oh what a difference to 12 months ago - no hospital appointment, no team of specialist nurses there to pick us up from the floor and tell us it would all be OK; just us working, and Sarah playing with friends. What a relief.
And what a turning point too - it seems Sarah has found the use of her leg from somewhere in the depths of her brain. I always said it was in her head, and she needed to want to do it - well, Tuesday she went to her nieces house to play (Shai is 12), and ended up going to Hounslow for pizza by themselves, and a trip round the shops. They came home on the bus, and she had a sleepover.She has had a taste of independance and its lovely to see.She's now asked me to get her an Oyster card so she can go out more often!! Today, she has been out in the garden, walking about playing swingball, and not a crutch in sight!! She's been up steps, down steps, and in and out of the shed to get garden toys, and didn't even bat an eyelid when I said if she carries on like this, she won't need her crutches when she goes back to school in 2 weeks time! It is amazing to think, that just 1 month ago she was nervous, and wobbly, and refused to leave the house without her crutches - now there's no stopping her. She still walks really slowly, and there is a slight limp(bigger when she's not concentrating!) - her technique needs some work, but I think she has realised what she has been missing having to carry the crutches around with her all day, and no amount of nagging and pleading was going to get her to realise it - she had to find out for herself and she has at last - roll on summer, and long may this wonderful life continue!!

Thursday 2nd April

Not much to report really over the last 9 days - more of the same - physio, exercises, walking, school, physio, more walking, lots of laughter, a few tears, but everything NORMAL.
A little bit of trouble at school - Sarahs friends have gone off the idea of Sarah being the centre of attention now she not 'ill', and have therefore got bored of sitting with her at break and lunch, and want to go off and do things that kids do at school. Sarah has therefore felt a bit hard done by and friendless - Sarah has had to find friends who want to sit with her because she's Sarah and not because she is different. Took a bit of doing, but we got there in the end. I think all of them need some time away from each other - it has been Sarah's first term back at school since the end of treatment, and its taken its toll. She's tired and fed up, her friends are bored with her situation, and they all need the Easter holidays.
Anyway, her real friends have stuck by her, and the others have drifted away, and we have reached equilibrium - all is calm, she is happier now, and Easter starts tomorrow lunchtime.Her walking is improving - she hardly uses her crutches at home now, and I have even managed to get her to go to guides with only one crutch now for 2 weeks running.She goes to school with 2 crutches, but takes one to the office JUST IN CASE. She's not ready to leave it at home just yet, but I have told her we are going to after the Easter break. We'll see if it works. I think she walks better with only one. Its almost without any limp at all when she thinks about it.Over Easter I have said we are going to walk loads and play Tennis ......she is horrified, but it will be fun - might need to enlist Katie to do the running on her side of the net, but it might get her moving.Now the evenings are getting longer, lets hope we can get out and about.
Sarah had to have 2 days off school this week with a tummy bug - and of course my mind started racing again - what type of tummy ache? What type of pain? Anywhere else? Why is she so tired? Headache? Sure you are OK? etc.etc. but she has been back to school today, and is back to normal, giggling, and being daft as usual. Just a tummy bug - will there ever be 'just' a 'normal' illness, or will we always live in fear? I'm sure it gets better over time, but at the moment its hell.

Tuesday 24th March 2009

Why do I keep walking around with a knot in my stomach? Why do I keep bursting in to tears sitting in traffic on my way to work?
Because, no matter how well we think everything is going, it could all change in a moment - I can't get away from the feeling that it has all been too easy so far - yes, Sarah was diagnosed quickly (within 1 month of the first x-ray-some kids wait years before doctors recognise whats wrong), yes, Sarah coped with her treatment really well, yes, the surgeon said he got the whole tumour out and the operation was a complete success, yes, the tumour had a good response and was more than 90% dead when it was removed, and yes, although I didn't think it would ever happen, she is starting to walk again - but the truth is, we will never be able to relax again. I can't look to the future - I can't let myself look too far ahead - I keep saying to myself what if.....and its just not bl**dy fair.Every time she says she has a headache I panic - If she's tired, I panic - if she gets sweaty at night, I panic, and if, like last night she screams in pain because her leg is stuck in one position, I panic. We only went for her check ups 2 weeks ago, so I know its OK at the moment, but I can't ever see me not worrying whenever she says she doesn't feel well.
I am using this blog now as therapy, so excuse my ramblings - maybe I need counselling, maybe just a good holiday, but most of all what I need is my daughter to be told that she is completely cured, and we have absolutely nothing to worry about.But that just isn't going to happen. Hopefully, and I really mean hopefully, time will pass, check-ups will come and go, and life will get back to normal(or as normal as we will ever get). But to me, the further we get from end of treatment, the more the risk - and I just hate it!! I have no reason to feel like this - everything seems fine - Sarah is well, her leg is getting stronger, she is getting stronger,and life is good. I think, as a good friend said to me recently, it is just hitting me what we have been through - they said 'You have all coped so well - one day this will all hit you like a ton of bricks' - well I think it's hit!!
That's enough from me - now to Sarah!
Last Wednesday she did her first swimming gala since her diagnosis - and she was FAB!
She was self-consious, because she started in the water when everyone else dived in, but she swam well, and came 4th - missing 3rd place by 6 inches - I think if she could have managed a dive, she would have clinched it!She was cross she didn't get a medal, but her teacher made sure she got a trophy as he thought she did so well!Not awarded in front of everyone at the end, but that didn't matter. In the relay they came 3rd out of 3, but for me, just the fact that she was there and wanting to be part of it was fantastic - and very brave.Her friends were lovely too - they didn't blame her for swimming slowly - they told her she did really well, which was lovely.
Thursday, we set off for a lovely school day trip to Boulogne. I got to go as a parent helper, as I had to supervise Sarah, and it was a long, but enjoyable day. The weather was great, and Sarah managed to walk miles (on her crutches, but still!!) - from the top of the old town, right through and down to the sea, along the seafront, to the beach! It took about an hour in all, but I kept saying it was good training for the Race for Life!!
She bought a postcard and stamp (in French)and sent it to Daddy and 2 pain au chocolat in the boulangerie......good job I could remember a limited amount of French!! We returned at 10pm, and she was wacked out! Still, she got a lie in Friday as she had physio, so didn't have to get up 7am for school!
Saturday night, we went to the hockey club race night, and we won 2 spa vouchers for 'owning' a winning horse, and Sarah came 2nd in the 'money won' competition, and won a £40 voucher for an indian restaurant in Twickenham!! Good night all round!
Mothers Day was lovely too - we went for a walk to the park with her friend Eleanor(on 1 crutch all the way)and she walked her friends dog, and played on the swings for the first time in a year. It was so nice to see her swinging up and down, and looking like a normal child again. We then went out for a lovely meal at a fish restaurant before taking Katie back to school.
Normal life - oh how fabulous it all is, and how I soooo don't take any of it for granted!
(promise not to get all morbid in future - only positive thoughts from now on........)

Monday 16th March 2009

Not much to report except that SARAH WALKED TO HER FRIENDS HOUSE UP THE ROAD WITH NO CRUTCHES YESTERDAY!!!! OK, I held her hand, and she took loads of persuading, but she did it! She even managed to do proper walking steps, NOT big old limping steps, but PROPER steps.I was hoping this was the start of throwing thoses crutches away, but they have become so much part of her life, I think it will be as hard as giving up smoking! They are now more of a habit - she can walk without them, but doesn't want to-she feels safe with them, feels steady on them, and can move so much more quickly with them, that she just NEEDS them.........for now anyway.They are sort of welded to her hands!!When she walks, I have to remind her to walk slowly - then she actually steps as she should, and follows through with her other foot. Then its not a limp, but a step. When she rushes, she stomps and walks with a big jolt of the hip, which really isn't good. Still, it was a start, and it was great to see her walking up the road in the sunshine. As soon as she saw her friend from next door, she let go of my hand and pretended to do it by herself too - she obviously wants to show everyone she is almost back to normal!
Wednesday night is swimming gala, with Sarah in the butterfly race for the individual race and the medley relay - she's a bit embarassed that she won't be able to dive, and thinks everyone will be looking at her, but good for her she's even entered - and in the most difficult race of them all!!She's only doing it because no one else wanted to do butterfly! Not bad for a girl who only 14 weeks ago was till having chemotherapy!! I'm so proud of her I could burst!! I almost want to announce to everyone what she has been through before she starts, so they are as proud of her as I am, but that just wouldn't do!! Even if she comes last, I will give her the biggest cheer I can and wipe a small tear of pride away. This time last year she was swimming in the year 6 gala, with a sore leg, but still winning her race.How things have changed.Little did we know what was in store. It has come to the time, this time last year when things were being investigated. I find myself saying daily 'This time last year you were going for your first x-ray' and ' this time last year was when you fell over at the Middlesex Mini hockey tournament and screamed the place down'. Next week it will be the anniversary of her biopsy, and 7th April will be 1 year to the day when she was diagnosed with the 'BIG C'.I hope we have many, many more anniversaries like this, and all of then uneventful and not even worth talking about!.
On another note-God bless Jade Goody-not so lucky but just as brave. Sleep peacefully when its your time to go.xx

Monday 9th March 2009

Well, we can relax now - my breathe was held for 5 days while we went to our first appointment post chemo with Sarahs surgeon last Thursday, followed by our second clinic appointment with her consultant today.
Thursday, we went up to the clinic in Bolsover Street, expecting to see the fabulous Mr Pollock, but he was away. We saw some doctor in his team who was Greek, and who's name ended in 'opoulos'!!! We had to wait for x-rays for ages, as the room was so full, but had a full leg x-ray and a chest x-ray (that, it turns out, we weren't supposed to have !!). As I wasn't expecting the chest x-ray, I started hyperventilating a bit while we waited for the doctor to have a look at it. I really wasn't prepared at all! He examined Sarah and watched her faltering steps, and although her foot is turned out at a funny angle, he thinks it is just muscular, and it will improve on its own.He then had a look at the chest x-ray and said it looked OK. He would send the x-rays over to UCH so they had them on file (so I held my breathe a little while longer over the weekend, incase they spotted something this doctor didn't.)I nearly lost it on our way home - relief that he thought the x-rays were OK, mixed with a bit of fear still that they might not be as good as he thought. Why is this happening to my beautiful daughter? The most we should be worried about is too much make up and unsuitably short skirts, but to be honest, she could get away with murder at the moment as long as she's here with us and healthy! 'Life's a bitch and then you die' has never been more true.Thought the bad times were over, but every 2 months, they will be back to bite us on the bum, and remind us that life is precious, and we are to savour every moment.
Today, we set off back to UCH for our 2 monthly appointment with Sarahs consultant. We didn't get to see Maria this time (obviously, now she's finished treatment, she's not high on the priority list any more) but saw Yasmin, a lovely doctor who cared for Sarah on the ward for many chemo cycles. She asked how Sarah was doing, watched her walking, examined her, tickled her tummy by pressing it while examining her, and just generally wanted to know how she was.It all seemed to go well, they were very pleased with her progress, and all was well except her weight! Her challenge is NOT to put on any more by the next appointment. Sarah can't understand why she is putting on weight - she's gone from sitting in hospital and doing absolutely nothing, being pushed around in a wheelchair all day long, to not using a wheelchair for 3 months, walking everywhere, swimming 30-40 lengths once, and sometimes twice a week, and generally being active again, and still she has gained 4 kilos since January!! I try and get her to eat properly-she gets fruit in her lunch and no chocolate, but when we're not around, she must snack - short of locking all the food in a safe, and getting her to work out every night, I'm not sure what I can do to help her, anymore than I am doing now. Lets hope she grows 6 inches, and then it won't look so bad!!!Unfortunately, she's built like me, and she only has to look at a bar of chocolate, and she gains 2 pounds!!
But, apart from that, everything is fine this time around.No scares on the x-rays, no horrible news at the appointment, and we can all relax again until 11th May, when she has her next chest x-ray - and 8th June when she has the next leg x-ray. Fingers crossed everything will be OK then too.In the meantime, we will continue to spoil Sarah, let her get away with all sorts of stuff that Katie never got away with, and pray to God that everything will be alright forever.

Thursday 19th February 2009

Let me introduce you to Fudge! It was Sarah's 12th birthday yesterday and she got the hamster from Nanny and Grandad(thanks!) We picked him up on Sunday, Sarah named him Fudge because of his colour, but when we got him home we noticed he only had one ear!! I have therefore re-named him Vincent Van Fudge(as in Van Gogh) but Fudge has sort of stuck!!He is really sweet, but because he nipped Katie and I when he was being curious on Sunday when he was first held, Sarah won't hold him! He didn't hurt me, and he hasn't bitten anyone since but she's now scared! She lets him run around on her bed, but I have to be there to catch him if he gets a bit lively!!He keeps us up all night going round in his wheel - I have to take the wheel out of his cage when we go to bed or it squeeks away at 1 in the morning!!
She also got a new PINK mobile phone from us for her birthday and LOADS of money - we went for breakfast at Giraffe-full English and a fruit smoothie, YUM!! and then we went to the cinema to see the new Disney film Bolt in 3D-it was great and quite funny actually, but I would like to see an adult film for a change-I am Disney'd out!!!Anyway, half term has passed uneventfully, with Katie home, and sleeping mostly,but the weekend is a big one for her, with the coach of Katie's prospective University hockey team coming over from America to see her play to see if she will offer her a scholarship to go to North Carolina University-aaaagggghhhhh!!!I'm nervous for her, but I'm sure she will be fine! We are going out to dinner (chinese-mmmmmmm) on Saturday night so we need to be on our best behaviour!
Clinic with Maria is getting nearer(9th March) and now we have an appointment with Mr Pollock, Sarah's surgeon, on 5th March - don't like these appointments, and my breath will be held until we get out with the all clear for another 2 months. I'm sure it gets easier as time passes, but at the moment it is hell waiting for the date to come.I keep telling myself it will be OK - she has no pain, she says she feels fine, nothing hurts, but she felt fine last time. Fingers crossed all will be OK.

Race for Life - 28th June 2009

Hi everyone,
Sarah and I have signed up to do the Race for Life in aid of Cancer Research on 28th June 2009 at Old Deer Park!! I have persuaded Sarah that by then she will be able to walk 5km, and she is going to give it a try!! If you want to sponsor me, click on the link below, and give generously!! Once I have raised my amount I will change the link to Sarahs so she can raise the same or more!!!!
Happy clicking, and thank you in advance!!

Wednesday 11th February 2009

What a great party we had!!! Still recovering, hence the delay in posting this blog!!
Spent all day Thursday and Friday last week preparing the house/putting up the marquee/going shopping, all in the freezing cold, and praying it wouldn't snow again! It was touch and go, we did have about 1 cm of snow overnight on Thursday so we woke up to the garden all being white again, but it melted just in time.Managed to get the patio heater inside the marquee, and although it was plastic, it didn't melt and warmed it up quite nicely!!!
Party got going around 7pm, and we finally went to bed at 2.45am, after a great night dancing, chatting and boozing (and that was just the kids.......!!) Sarah had a good time, and got LOADS of presents!!! She had 26 friends, all in fancy dress - great!! Total attendance - 75 people - no wonder I was stressed!! We are finally slowly getting the house back to normal, although Sarah is still grouchy as she is still a bit tired! So am I!! One good thing - we have enough booze left over to have another party! Might have to have a summer barbecue......if we ever get a summer ever again!

Monday 2nd February

Snow!!! Great excitement, no school (Yippee!!) and even slippery snow drifts didn't stop Sarah going out and enjoying herself today. We set off round the park with the sledge, with the intention of me pulling her round there so she didn't fall over, but it must have been the wrong type of snow because I could hardly move her!! So, not to be daunted, she got up, and walked round there, sticking to the fluffy snowy bits where her crutches were prevented from slipping by the shere volume of snow!! Got to the park and Emily and Sophie, our next door neighbours children, had a great time going up and down the hills on our sledge, and Sarah was wistfully looking on - so she asked for a turn. I was a bit worried about her falling off, so she went half way up the slope, and we pushed gently - and weeeeeeeee!! No accidents, no bruises, and a great time had by all. Glad its all melting now though, or either no one will turn up to the party Saturday as they're snowed in, or everyone will be inside - 75 people will be a bit cramped in my living room............!! More news on the party will follow Sunday - watch this space - if I have the energy to type then!!!!!

Thursday 29th january 2009

Another ordinary Thursday has just turned into something ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR!!!!! Guess what?! Sarah has just walked from the living room, to the kitchen, up the kitchen and back again, WITH NO CRUTCHES!!!!!!! Oh My God!! I cannot tell you how excited I am, how happy I am, and how much I just cried my eyes out!!!! I told her on the way home from school today that I was giving her a month to practise walking with one crutch, and then on 1st March, I was taking one away, so she had to walk with one crutch all the time. She moaned, said she couldn't do it, she would have to take 2 crutches to school as it was all bumpy and slippery, and I despaired a bit that my idea wasn't going to work.She had her tea, and went off to Guides, with the promise she would walk on 1 crutch round the church hall until I collected her. She came home, and for some reason, she started to try and stand on one foot at the bottom of the stairs. She said she felt hyper and managed to stand on her bad leg for a second, and she did it a couple of times. Dave asked her what it felt like when she did it - her answer was it felt fine and no different than the other leg! I challenged her, and said if she could put her weight on her foot standing still, then why couldn't she do it whilst walking? So, without prompting, she got up, and took a step - admittedly more a limp than a step, but there was no crutch. She realised it was OK - she wasn't going to fall over - and she took another one. Great excitement filled the air - I started cheering her on, and the look on her face when she got to the kitchen not holding on to her crutches that have become part of her life, was an absolute picture!. She then pushed on, walked all the way to the end of the kitchen, and back again. She has gone to bed now, after giving me a big cuddle as I wept buckets of tears!!! She thought it was hilarious that I was crying, but all the stress of seeing my 11 year old daughter, who should be running round with her friends at school, stuck indoors with crutches welded on to her hands, melted away. I can see light at the end of the tunnel . I can see her dancing at her party next Saturday, which I was hoping would happen when I organised it, but realistically didn't really believe would happen.I know the walking is more limping, and I'm sure we are a long way from a proper step yet, but I cannot tell you how proud I am of her. GO SARAH!!!!!!

Friday 23rd January 2009

Everything has been ticking away quite nicely this week. Sarah is feeling well and full of energy - she's been at school all week, swimming on Monday night, Guides on Thursday doing Boxercise of all things!! She's been to a birthday party at the tenpin bowling alley and is now having a sleepover - normal service has been resumed!!Only thing missing is the walking! Still bumbling along on 2 crutches not in any hurry to do any more actually, but we seem to have got a bit used to it, and unfortunately, because Sarah is now used to it, she's quite happy. She is able to swim and go to school and parties and has even mastered stairs at school to go into the artroom instead of having her lessons by herself in the canteen.Because she hasn't been prevented from doing anything, the hoped for incentive to walk is yet to happen. On the plus side, the physio says she can now feel a muscle forming above Sarahs kneecap, so her exercises must be working.If we can build up enough muscle to hold her leg straight, she will hopefully be able to eventually take that first step and then she'll be off. Its almost as if she's forgotten how to walk a proper step with that leg.If we can train her brain, muscles etc to do the right movement again, then maybe we'll have success.In the meantime, we have to just carry on with the school run in the car instead of catching the bus with her friends, and shuffling slowly from the changing rooms at the swimming pool on the walking frame.Even a slip over on the wet floor at school yesterday didn't deter Sarah one bit. Quite happily she stayed at school, sat in the school wheelchair because she twisted her ankle, for the last 2 lessons!!What is the point in me banning the wheelchair at home, if all she has to do is say her ankle hurts for them to sit her in the emergency one at school!! Aaaaagggghhhh!!!!
We are in full swing in our organisation of Katie and Sarahs joint birthday party on 7th Feb. Sarah is mega-excited and her friends are too!I sorted my fancy dress costume out this week - you will have to wait for the photos to see what it is, but it should be great!!! 60 people are coming to this thing at the last count, so I am getting a bit jittery!! I'm sure it will be fine, but there is so much to do. All will be worth it as my 2 girls deserve a great night. Sarah for obvious reasons, and Katie too for being the greatest 18 year old ever.I hope they have fun!!

Tuesday 13th January

Monday 5th January was a trip to see Maria, Sarah's consultant at UCH - she was very pleased with her progress, and apart from nearly insisting on a blood test(Sarah had a panic fit and she changed her mind!!)it was uneventful, thank goodness - and long may it continue. These 2 monthly appointments will fill me with fear and dread for years to come, in case of a recurrance, but fingers crossed it won't happen. Sarah was sent for a chest X-ray, and I'm assuming it was clear as we haven't had a phone call hauling us back in again. Back to school Tuesday - a bit of a shock getting up at 7am again and Soooooooo cold!!! Sarah had a good week,managing to go all day from 8.40am to 3.15pm for 3 days (and I went to work - shock horror!!!)before yet another day off to go to the hearing centre. That too was uneventful, and we were told that they were happy that Sarah's selective hearing was 'normal' and it was her attention span that was lacking, not her hearing ability!!!(We could have told them that 6 months ago!)
Friday night Sarah went back to swimming club for the first time since February! She was very happy, and they were really pleased to see her. She hobbled in on her walking frame, did 30 lengths as if there was nothing wrong with her leg, and was hoisted out on the disabled hoist when she got tired!
Saturday, we all got up at 6.45am to take Katie to Southampton to play in an indoor hockey tournament - we had a nice day out, did a bit of shopping and watched Katie's team lose 2 games - oh well!!!!
Monday 12th, school again followed by swimming club yet again - go Sarah!!! She managed to swim for 45 minutes this time and did a few backstroke lengths which involved alot more kicking with BOTH legs - lets hope all this exercise works wonders with her walking...........I might be imagining it, but I'm sure there is a slight improvement when she walks - definately a bit more weight going down. She can get 7 stone pushed through it on the scales standing still-so far costing me a 'Pop Party 6'CD, 'The Boy in the Dress' book,and 'Mr Magoriums Wonder Emporium' DVD-bribery works every time with my daughter - but no where near as much when actually moving!!I am living in hope that one day, I will come in from work and she will be walking round the house unaided. I keep walking off with the crutches to see if she'll try, but no sign yet........At least the wheelchair hasn't been used since Disneyland - my back is very grateful!!

Saturday 3rd January 2009

Happy New Year all our blogging friends!! Its been a busy week since we last updated, with the last of the Xmas celebrations coming to an end and a trip to High School Musical on Ice!! We got invited to the 'Visa Executive box' at the O2 arena by CLIC Sergeant to see the ice show, complete with nibbles and drinks on tap followed by lunch laid on. Ever so posh, and I could get quite used to it, actually!!! Millie stayed for a sleepover on New Years Eve and we watched the fireworks on the telly, drank Bucks Fizz and went to bed around 1am. I really couldn't celebrate the passing of an old year in the right way - I was just glad to see the back of it, and tears flowed uncontrollably at midnight, even though I vowed not to cry! I should be pleased the year was over but relief was the correct word I think.Still, we must be positive, and believe that 2009 will be better, and if Sarah has anything to do with it, it will be. She is looking great, her hair is growing back nice and thick, and she is going back to school on Tuesday. The wheelchair is being locked in the dining room, and we are hoping the crutches will soon follow(we can live in hope can't we....?)Sarah has been doing well in physio, although is still not weight bearing when she walks - can manage 5 stone when standing still, but her leg waves in the air when walking!! She is going back to swimming club next Friday, so I'm hoping that will strengthen her leg enough to make her step on her leg - PLEASE!!!! I have told her we are not even going to look at holidays for the summer until she is walking, in a hope to encourage her, but so far nothing. Maybe her school friends will help.
She has planned a huge fancy dress party for her birthday in February( and her sisters 18th), and Katie has tried to persuade her to walk so she can dance at her party - that really will be the best present she can get.